I stopped into visit my neighbor in the hospital yesterday. Two weeks ago Rick fell off a ladder and is now paralyzed from the waist down. Now his days are spent doing rehab and trying to learn how to cope with this new reality. He’s got a long road ahead.
To be honest, it was awkward visiting him. I’m pretty good at putting words down on paper, but face-to-face I’m often left tongue-tied, not sure what to say. After all, what do you say to a man who has just found out he’ll never walk again, a person with such an independent spirit, who for the rest of his life will be dependent on others? Words would just ring hollow at a time like this.
Thinking about this, I remembered the story of Job. Few men have had to go through what Job did, but at least he still had friends who cared. The Bible says when Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar saw Job’s suffering, “they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” (Job 2:13 NIV).
Up till this point Job’s 3 friends were doing great. They were there for him and I’m sure he found comfort in their presence. That’s what he needed most, just knowing someone cared, to have someone to listen to his complaints and share his pain. Unfortunately, his friends couldn’t leave well enough alone and had to go and open their mouths. In the end, instead of bringing comfort, they only made Job more miserable.
At my Dad’s memorial service what helped me the most were not the kind words or the whispered condolences. Though well-meaning, words, at a time like that, are inadequate. What made the difference for me that day were the friends who traveled many miles just to be there for us, friends like Tom and Linda Blackbird, Dave and Debbie Foote, Bill and Annette Boyd, Jane and David Branum, Rick Ballweber, and so many more. Just having these dear friends nearby meant the world to me. Thank you all!
Ecclesiastes 3:7 reminds us, there is “a time to be silent and a time to speak…” Right now, my neighbor doesn’t need my words, my reassurances God will work everything out for good. A time for that may come, but what he needs at this moment is a friend, someone to just be there for him, someone to listen and care. Right now words will just get in the way.
This morning, if you have a friend who is hurting, remember, sometimes silence speaks louder than words. Just be there for them. They don’t need your words right now. They just need you.
God bless and have a wonderful Sabbath!